Recovery Enthusiast/ Recovery for Women

I don't know about you, but I didn't get sober to be miserable. I had spent years trying to figure out this sobriety thing I was in and out of the halls of AA and treatment centers. And I had had various lengths of sobriety. But there seemed to be something missing, something I wasn't getting. There were times that I had felt peace and serenity but true contentment? What was that? Over the past few years, I have realized or recognized some of the key elements in the various programs that I had attended AA, refuge recovery, the different programs I was researching NLP, DBT, CBT, and I started listening to motivational speakers such as Tony Robbins, Dean Graziosi, Mel Robbins, and Jens Sicero. All of them had similar approaches, although their techniques might have been a little different. I also was trying to find motivational speakers, particularly women in recovery, and I didn't see many actually; I didn't find any that I could identify with. So as I started learni...

 You may have been advised to spend more time in the "present moment," but what does this really mean? Present moment thinking has been the concentration of eastern religions for thousands of years.  Religion And Philosophy   Some people are tempted to turn away immediately when Eastern philosophy is brought up just because they think it might threaten their core religious beliefs. There are no religious impositions, though; the present moment is available to everyone in every moment, no matter who you are. In fact, most religions, in one way or another, agree with the belief of living in the moment, not in the past or future.   Eastern Religions And The Present Moment   There are many different divisions of religion in the East, just like the West. Many of them differ with certain beliefs and philosophies, but many agree on the importance of the present moment.  In recent decades, the West has been picking up on these ancient philosophies, and ...

  Can you find balance in your life? Some say you can, while others say there is no such thing if you want to be highly successful.   It's true that many of the most high-profile successful people have anything but balanced lives. But, many of them are also miserable too.   You can attain a high level of success and enjoy all the aspects of your life that mean the most to you.   Find balance with these strategies:   Cut back on the non-essentials. If you're struggling to find balance in your life, a lack of time is the most common issue. Take a look at how you spend your time each week. What are the activities you can do without? Avoid wasting time. Now, consider all the ways you genuinely waste time. This might include watching TV reruns, surfing the internet, or window shopping. The more time you can find in your life to apply to the things that matter, the more balanced you can make your life. Set your priorities....

You could be in a controlling relationship without even realizing it. Manipulative and dominating behavior is very often subtle. It like they say about cooking a frog. If you put the frog in a pot with lukewarm water and slowly bring it to a boil, the frog will just stay in the pot and not even realize he's being cooked. As opposed to putting a frog in an already boing pot of water, the frog will surely jump out. So controlling relationships happen slowly, and of course, no one wants to admit that they've fallen for someone who is manipulative. after all, we're smarter than that. Love can not only be blind but deaf and dumb. Please don't think it can't happen to you. That is a belief that has been disproven time a d time again. Instead, educate yourself on the warning signs. Once you learn to recognize these signs, you will see them as glaring and in your face. Please don't beat yourself up for not seeing them before. Common warning signs include a partner who...

Every relationship requires boundaries. What are boundaries?  Personal boundaries set limits on how others can behave in your presence and interact with you.   Certainly, your boundaries have been violated at some point in your life. Maybe a partner used language that was unacceptable toward you. Perhaps someone invaded your privacy by asking you a personal question you considered inappropriate.   What are your boundaries? How do you show others where you draw the line? Once your lines are clear, they benefit you and those around you.   Consider these areas in determining your personal boundaries:   Physical boundaries. Physical boundaries include space. There are certain people whom you feel comfortable standing much closer to than others. Your partner can stand closer to you than a friend, and a friend closer than a coworker. Maybe a coworker can stand closer than a stranger. ●       Touch. There are certain p...

  What would your life look like if you were free from worrying about the opinions of others? What if seeking the approval of other people failed to enter your mind? How would it change your life? Our lives are negatively influenced by the fear of rejection. It holds us back in so many ways and limits our ability to experience the positive aspects of life.   Consider these ideas to banish your fear of rejection:   1.      Rejection is largely a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you’re constantly worried about rejection, it changes the way you act. You become anxious and defensive. Those actions may cause you to be rejected by others. After all, who wants to spend time with someone who’s unpleasant to be around?   ·        Consider how this fear is affecting your behavior. Are you acting in a way that’s causing others to reject you?   2.      Focus on how you want to feel. Most peo...

  When I think I am better than or less than, I’m dealing with worthiness. I am evaluating my worth compared to some standard either I set for myself or I feel is expected of me. I am not in a state of compassion for myself or anyone else. Actually, if you don’t have compassion for yourself, you can’t have it for anyone else. We are all doing the best we can. In Brene Brown’s book Rising Strong, she talks about how she came to believe this to be true. And by having this belief, it had changed her perspective on the world and her place in it. I also had a similar experience.   My son’s father and I had been split up for several years, and I was struggling with forgiving him, letting go, and moving on. I was so angry, and I felt justified in my anger. I did not want to give him The satisfaction of forgiveness. It was also one of the reasons why I could not stay sober. The resentment had me hostage. One of my sisters invited me on a retreat.   It was some type of religious...

 S.A.D. is a type of depression that is seasonal and is usually prevalent in areas that have less sunlight during certain times of the year. Here in New England, that season is fall and winter. Many suffer and in various degrees. Your symptoms may include a change in mood: anxiety, apathy, general discontent, loneliness, loss of interest, mood swings, or sadness—other symptoms such as excessive sleep or sleep deprivation, even insomnia. Body aches, fatigue, and appetite changes with weight gain often occur. Also common are irritability, social isolation, lack of concentration, and of course, depression. S.A.D. can be self-diagnosed,, and there are many treatments for it. If you suffer from these symptoms, you can see your doctor, and he/she will probably prescribe some medication, and sometimes that medication helps. I'm writing this today because I too suffer from S.A.D. I take that back. I used to SUFFER, now I take steps to help alliviate the symptoms and in a more holistic way....

 I was supposed to go for a walk this morning. My daughter called and asked if I wanted to go to her house for lunch. It's been a while since I went to visit her and I had been working very hard at work, school, and creating my online course. So I was happy for the break. I finished some homework in the morning and I figured I could go for a walk with her and my grandson. It was very chilly outside. We did go outside to play for a bit but no walk. I haven't' been getting my walks in after work because it gets dark early and by the time I get home it's too dark.  These are my top three excuses; lack of time, it's too dark, and my favorite             It's too cold out!!! I need to find a way. I need to change the plan. I know when things are not working and I'm not achieving my goal I need to change the plan not the goal!! change of plan 1. On my days off go in the morning before I do anything else and get distracted 2. Take a break at w...

 I've been studying stress a lot lately. I've studied it in the past, but my most recent course has brought me some new information and new ideas about where stress comes from and how we deal with it. Now I know what you're thinking, "Doreen, I already know what stresses me. It's my job, or it's my kids, my elderly parents, my S/O, and don't even get me started on traffic jams!" The truth of the matter that these external factors are not the root cause of stress.  But let me back up a bit. First of all, Why do we have "stress"? Well, we have an automatic response to danger. You've probably already have heard about the "fight or flight" response. Way back when a wooly mammoth was chasing us, our sympathetic nervous system responded by producing a hormone (really a group of hormones, but to keep it simple, we'll just say the primary one, cortisol). Our bodies would then temporarily shut down other non-essential organs or syst...

We all deal with being overwhelmed from time to time. I think once identified, the most important thing you can do is chunk it down. Most people become overwhelmed when they start thinking of all the things they need "to do." I have learned that when making goals if you focus on the end result and the feeling you will have with that end result, not only are you more likely to complete the task at hand, you will do it more enjoyably. For example, I want to buy my own home. The end result? I wish to have is a place for my children and grandchildren to come visit, sort of a home base. The feelings attached to that is I am very close to my children, and I want to keep that connection strong and have a place to come if they need a respite. I also enjoy their company and don't want to be alone (not all the time anyway). The more I connect to that feeling I want from buying a home, the more likely I will commit to doing the things I need to do to get there, like saying no to buy...

Good morning ⛾. I sit here at 4 am to start my day. Yes, it is by choice . I have made a commitment, and by golly, I'm going to follow through. Since COVID hit, I've had to rethink my approach to becoming a motivational speaker and life coach. You see, I was developing skills to do lectures and travel the world, helping people, particularly people with substance abuse issues. Like many of you, COVID changes that completely. But it's not all dome and gloom. Due to COVID, I've been forced to do my schooling online. And due to COVID , I've had to get created with how I was going to motivate and help people.  I've mentioned before that I am now part of a mastermind platform. I have been developing an online course to help addicts and alcoholics deal with life, particularly with being overwhelmed in this pandemic. While creating this course and taking several attempts and redo's, I have developed a liking not only for course development but also for writing in g...

 I've been listening to a lot of motivational audiobooks. The lastest one You Were Born Rich by Bob Proctor, not a new release by any means. He talks about the saying " you   reap what you sow" . He explains it in a way I haven't heard before. He says "you sow in a season and you reap in a season but you don't do both in the same season". He goes on to say that most people give up too fast and that success has more to do with grit than anything else. I know for me when I've been working hard on something and get antsy for the reward and at times I feel I must not be doing something right or that it's not meant to be because nothing is happening (or at least not how or when I want it to). When I look back at all the things that I tried to do or become I notice a pattern. That pattern is I get so far and then stop, quit, maybe do something else .  How many of us have given up before the miracle? If we had just hanged in there a little bit longer...