Motivations 4U

  Have you ever felt angry or hurt because of something your partner said or did?   Setting healthy boundaries can help you protect your emotional energy and deepen the connection within your relationship.   Boundaries are the guidelines we set about our expectations, availability, and energy. Because boundaries communicate how we feel, they prevent us from overcommitting or feeling resentful. They also help give others guidelines on how to treat you.   They do not have to be hard, aggressive rules. Setting boundaries allows us to be transparent with our partner about how we feel so that we can have a deeper, longer, lasting relationship.   The word boundary might be interpreted as pushing someone away. It is better described as an invitation to let your partner in to learn more about you and your needs.   Setting boundaries with your partner can improve the strength of your relationship. Not only are you inviting your partner to learn more about you, but you are al

You could be in a controlling relationship without even realizing it. Manipulative and dominating behavior is very often subtle. It like they say about cooking a frog. If you put the frog in a pot with lukewarm water and slowly bring it to a boil, the frog will just stay in the pot and not even realize he's being cooked. As opposed to putting a frog in an already boing pot of water, the frog will surely jump out. So controlling relationships happen slowly, and of course, no one wants to admit that they've fallen for someone who is manipulative. after all, we're smarter than that. Love can not only be blind but deaf and dumb. Please don't think it can't happen to you. That is a belief that has been disproven time a d time again. Instead, educate yourself on the warning signs. Once you learn to recognize these signs, you will see them as glaring and in your face. Please don't beat yourself up for not seeing them before. Common warning signs include a partner who

Every relationship requires boundaries. What are boundaries?  Personal boundaries set limits on how others can behave in your presence and interact with you.   Certainly, your boundaries have been violated at some point in your life. Maybe a partner used language that was unacceptable toward you. Perhaps someone invaded your privacy by asking you a personal question you considered inappropriate.   What are your boundaries? How do you show others where you draw the line? Once your lines are clear, they benefit you and those around you.   Consider these areas in determining your personal boundaries:   Physical boundaries. Physical boundaries include space. There are certain people whom you feel comfortable standing much closer to than others. Your partner can stand closer to you than a friend, and a friend closer than a coworker. Maybe a coworker can stand closer than a stranger. ●       Touch. There are certain people you allow to touch you, and others you do n

  When I think I am better than or less than, I’m dealing with worthiness. I am evaluating my worth compared to some standard either I set for myself or I feel is expected of me. I am not in a state of compassion for myself or anyone else. Actually, if you don’t have compassion for yourself, you can’t have it for anyone else. We are all doing the best we can. In Brene Brown’s book Rising Strong, she talks about how she came to believe this to be true. And by having this belief, it had changed her perspective on the world and her place in it. I also had a similar experience.   My son’s father and I had been split up for several years, and I was struggling with forgiving him, letting go, and moving on. I was so angry, and I felt justified in my anger. I did not want to give him The satisfaction of forgiveness. It was also one of the reasons why I could not stay sober. The resentment had me hostage. One of my sisters invited me on a retreat.   It was some type of religious retreat for h