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Showing posts from July, 2021

Misinformed by the Misinformed

    I was misinformed by the misinformed. Like many of us, I grew up with family and friends information that they had passed down to me that was not correct. They didn't do it because they were mean or insensitive. They did it because they were loving and caring and wanted the best for me. But the fact of the matter is that its incorrect information. So much of the self-talk that I've had for years went like this; if I say I'm pretty or intelligent, I'm conceited. If I beat myself up for my mistakes or, just in general, get on my butt, I will be more motivated to do things. If I beat myself up for being lazy or beat myself up for procrastinating or for the mistakes that I made, if I didn't do it right the first time or the 100th time, beating myself up would motivate me to do better. And I don't know about you, but that hasn't worked for me too well.  I know the clients that I work with it hasn't worked for them either.  One of the reasons they soug

We all need people!!

 One of the most difficult things for many people but particularly addicts and alcoholics is communication. And spend my experience personally and working with others that addicts tend to lack interpersonal skills. Whether we are innately shy or have not developed those communications due to our isolation. When we get clean and sober, we must communicate to other people how we're feeling, which could be one of the most challenging things to do. For a lot of us, we drank and drugged those feelings away. Sometimes we don't even know what those feelings are; it's hard for us to identify them, never mind communicate them to someone. Also, a lot of times, we lack the confidence to express ourselves to other people. Through my courses,  groups, and one-on-one, I teach that, like anything else, it takes practice. People may think that it is bizarre that a grown person would need to practice communicating, but if you are someone who hasn't done a lot of it or a lot of healthy

How to Find More Fulfillment in Your Life

Making the most of life means different things to different people. To determine what it means to you, you may want to do some soul-searching. Once you discover what you really desire, you can move toward it and find meaning in the process.   Helping others is an effective way to receive more fulfillment from your life. You can volunteer your time and talents or donate money or items to a worthy or charitable cause. In doing so, you may find a sense of peace and joy that you didn't have before. Of course, when times are tight, you may find it difficult to give financially. However, there are always ways to help.   Give of Yourself   When you give yourself to get more joy from your life, keep in mind that giving takes many forms. Consider all that you have to offer. Sometimes just listening to someone's troubles or lending a hand to help can make a huge difference. By helping others to lead fulfilling lives, you will enrich your own.   To get the most from your

Holding on to resentment is like drinking poison expecting your enemies to die

  Forgiveness Definition of forgiveness: interpersonal forgiveness is a willingness to abandon one's right to resentment, negative judgment, and indifferent behavior toward one who unjustly injured us while fostering the undeserved qualities of compassion, generosity, and even love toward him or her.   Other people will inevitably get you upset, disappoint you, and at times hurt or offend you.  However, the fact is, if you are always looking for reasons to be offended or hurt, you will find them. Instead, try to look for the good in others the same way that you would want them to focus on the good and you. Forgiveness , ultimately, is for you, not for them. I've had people say to me I will not give them the satisfaction of forgiving them; I will not let them off the hook that easily. But that is the meaning of the saying drinking poison and expecting my enemies to die .  Forgiveness is freedom for you. Of course, this is easier said than done. It is tough to apologize