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Showing posts with the label worthiness

The Struggle Can Be the Reward

  The average person avoids challenges like she’s avoiding the plague. Struggling isn’t enjoyable, so it’s natural to avoid it as much as possible. There’s an issue with this strategy: There’s a lot to be gained from struggling .   There are many aspects to humans that are anti-fragile, meaning that stress makes them stronger.   For example:   ●       Exercise is a stressor that delivers positive benefits. ●       Being hot or cold, within reason, is good for your health. ●       Fasting is beneficial. Struggling is similar in that it makes you better than you were before the struggle.   Have you ever noticed that?   You learn a lot about yourself when you struggle . You don’t learn a lot about yourself while you’re watching a movie for the fifth time from your couch. When life is easy, you have a natural tendency to coast. Any struggle is a test of your will, ingenuity, and perseverance. You can learn how to use failure . Struggles often end in “failur

We are all doing the best we can

  When I think I am better than or less than, I’m dealing with worthiness. I am evaluating my worth compared to some standard either I set for myself or I feel is expected of me. I am not in a state of compassion for myself or anyone else. Actually, if you don’t have compassion for yourself, you can’t have it for anyone else. We are all doing the best we can. In Brene Brown’s book Rising Strong, she talks about how she came to believe this to be true. And by having this belief, it had changed her perspective on the world and her place in it. I also had a similar experience.   My son’s father and I had been split up for several years, and I was struggling with forgiving him, letting go, and moving on. I was so angry, and I felt justified in my anger. I did not want to give him The satisfaction of forgiveness. It was also one of the reasons why I could not stay sober. The resentment had me hostage. One of my sisters invited me on a retreat.   It was some type of religious retreat for h

Quiet Your Inner Critic

 How to quiet your inner critic: When talking about self-esteem frequently we talk about our inner critic. The critic is the voice inside our head that constantly gives us feedback about our performance. Those with lower self-esteem listen to a particularly harsh inner critic, one whose voice is loud, clear, and persistent.  The critic is so much a part of us that we hardly notice that it's debilitating. Slowly but surely, it tricks us and makes us believe that we are not worthy. So how do we quiet our inner critic?   1. Be conscious of your inner critic. Take note of the number of times during the day your inner voice demeans you.  2. Engage in a dialogue with your inner critic. When it puts you down, ask  *Where is this voice coming from?  *Is it a true fact? *What happens when I believe that thought?   *Does it get me what I want?  3. Replace your inner critic with your inner coach, one who will guide and advise you rather than shame and blame you. Give life to this new inner v