Motivations 4U

  Productive Versus Unproductive Thinking   How much of your time do you spend thinking each day during your waking hours? Most likely, at least 99% of the time. But how much of that thinking is productive?   There are two basic types of thinking: productive and unproductive. Productive thinking helps motivate us, reach our goals, and create the life we desire. On the other hand, much of the unproductive thinking we do is actually harmful to our happiness, contentment, and success.   What types of thoughts do you find yourself spending the most time on?   Consider how unproductive these types of thinking are:   ·        Thinking about the past in a way that creates regret. This is a common type of negative thinking that has no positive benefits. Remembering that time you embarrassed yourself in high school or had a huge argument with your partner only serves to lower your mood and put you into an unresourceful state. o    The solution is simple. Catch yourself

 One of the most difficult things for many people but particularly addicts and alcoholics is communication. And spend my experience personally and working with others that addicts tend to lack interpersonal skills. Whether we are innately shy or have not developed those communications due to our isolation. When we get clean and sober, we must communicate to other people how we're feeling, which could be one of the most challenging things to do. For a lot of us, we drank and drugged those feelings away. Sometimes we don't even know what those feelings are; it's hard for us to identify them, never mind communicate them to someone. Also, a lot of times, we lack the confidence to express ourselves to other people. Through my courses,  groups, and one-on-one, I teach that, like anything else, it takes practice. People may think that it is bizarre that a grown person would need to practice communicating, but if you are someone who hasn't done a lot of it or a lot of healthy

  Forgiveness Definition of forgiveness: interpersonal forgiveness is a willingness to abandon one's right to resentment, negative judgment, and indifferent behavior toward one who unjustly injured us while fostering the undeserved qualities of compassion, generosity, and even love toward him or her.   Other people will inevitably get you upset, disappoint you, and at times hurt or offend you.  However, the fact is, if you are always looking for reasons to be offended or hurt, you will find them. Instead, try to look for the good in others the same way that you would want them to focus on the good and you. Forgiveness , ultimately, is for you, not for them. I've had people say to me I will not give them the satisfaction of forgiving them; I will not let them off the hook that easily. But that is the meaning of the saying drinking poison and expecting my enemies to die .  Forgiveness is freedom for you. Of course, this is easier said than done. It is tough to apologize

  Have you ever felt angry or hurt because of something your partner said or did?   Setting healthy boundaries can help you protect your emotional energy and deepen the connection within your relationship.   Boundaries are the guidelines we set about our expectations, availability, and energy. Because boundaries communicate how we feel, they prevent us from overcommitting or feeling resentful. They also help give others guidelines on how to treat you.   They do not have to be hard, aggressive rules. Setting boundaries allows us to be transparent with our partner about how we feel so that we can have a deeper, longer, lasting relationship.   The word boundary might be interpreted as pushing someone away. It is better described as an invitation to let your partner in to learn more about you and your needs.   Setting boundaries with your partner can improve the strength of your relationship. Not only are you inviting your partner to learn more about you, but you are al