Motivations 4U

You could be in a controlling relationship without even realizing it. Manipulative and dominating behavior is very often subtle. It like they say about cooking a frog. If you put the frog in a pot with lukewarm water and slowly bring it to a boil, the frog will just stay in the pot and not even realize he's being cooked. As opposed to putting a frog in an already boing pot of water, the frog will surely jump out. So controlling relationships happen slowly, and of course, no one wants to admit that they've fallen for someone who is manipulative. after all, we're smarter than that. Love can not only be blind but deaf and dumb. Please don't think it can't happen to you. That is a belief that has been disproven time a d time again. Instead, educate yourself on the warning signs. Once you learn to recognize these signs, you will see them as glaring and in your face. Please don't beat yourself up for not seeing them before. Common warning signs include a partner who

Every relationship requires boundaries. What are boundaries?  Personal boundaries set limits on how others can behave in your presence and interact with you.   Certainly, your boundaries have been violated at some point in your life. Maybe a partner used language that was unacceptable toward you. Perhaps someone invaded your privacy by asking you a personal question you considered inappropriate.   What are your boundaries? How do you show others where you draw the line? Once your lines are clear, they benefit you and those around you.   Consider these areas in determining your personal boundaries:   Physical boundaries. Physical boundaries include space. There are certain people whom you feel comfortable standing much closer to than others. Your partner can stand closer to you than a friend, and a friend closer than a coworker. Maybe a coworker can stand closer than a stranger. ●       Touch. There are certain people you allow to touch you, and others you do n

  What would your life look like if you were free from worrying about the opinions of others? What if seeking the approval of other people failed to enter your mind? How would it change your life? Our lives are negatively influenced by the fear of rejection. It holds us back in so many ways and limits our ability to experience the positive aspects of life.   Consider these ideas to banish your fear of rejection:   1.      Rejection is largely a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you’re constantly worried about rejection, it changes the way you act. You become anxious and defensive. Those actions may cause you to be rejected by others. After all, who wants to spend time with someone who’s unpleasant to be around?   ·        Consider how this fear is affecting your behavior. Are you acting in a way that’s causing others to reject you?   2.      Focus on how you want to feel. Most people focus on how they don’t want to feel, but they haven’t considered how they want to feel.

Fear is the biggest roadblock to success. Fear is a constant companion if you're attempting to grow and achieve. The most successful people are often those that manage fear most effectively. Those that manage fear poorly are often the least successful. Learning to push beyond fear is a valuable skill that greatly increases your odds of success. There is an acronym for fear. Forget everything and run or face everything and recover. Facing your fear is a big part of recovery.   Our bodies are designed to protect us. Fear is part of that design, so it does suit a purpose. But our body's goal is for survival only, not to thrive, challenge or become successful. So it is important first to recognize which is a real physical threat and which is merely psychological. Here are some techniques to help you overcome the non-threatening psychological fear.   Conquer your fear and achieve success:   1.      Control your thoughts. It's possible to think about anything you ch

  Meditation is simple, cheap, and highly effective, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. And to be honest, it actually is pretty easy; it’s just not what people expect it to be.  Beginners have all sorts of challenges when meditating, but most of them aren’t really problems. The complaints beginners have are simply part of the meditation process.  Meditation can work for everyone that puts in the time and effort.   Are these challenges holding you back?   Your mind is too active. Of course, it’s active. It takes practice before the mind quiets down, and it’s rarely silent even after years of practice. It takes about 20 minutes for experienced meditators to notice a slowing down of the mind. ●       This isn’t really a problem. Part of the purpose of meditating is to learn how your mind operates. This is how it operates. ●       Just return your focus to your breath. Your mind wanders. It’s not uncommon to suddenly realize that you’ve

  When I think I am better than or less than, I’m dealing with worthiness. I am evaluating my worth compared to some standard either I set for myself or I feel is expected of me. I am not in a state of compassion for myself or anyone else. Actually, if you don’t have compassion for yourself, you can’t have it for anyone else. We are all doing the best we can. In Brene Brown’s book Rising Strong, she talks about how she came to believe this to be true. And by having this belief, it had changed her perspective on the world and her place in it. I also had a similar experience.   My son’s father and I had been split up for several years, and I was struggling with forgiving him, letting go, and moving on. I was so angry, and I felt justified in my anger. I did not want to give him The satisfaction of forgiveness. It was also one of the reasons why I could not stay sober. The resentment had me hostage. One of my sisters invited me on a retreat.   It was some type of religious retreat for h

 M any times emotions are an indicator that something is going on inside us. And other times, they are straight out lies. It’s no wonder people get confused about emotions and what they are and how they’re supposed to deal with or respond to them. I feel our society today has looked at negative emotions, you know, painful ones, as bad and will do everything to get rid of them, whether that be with medication, a new house, a new outfit vacation, and basically everything external from us. On the other side of the token, all the pleasant emotions are manipulated to be extravagant even better again with medication alcohol is a big one shopping gambling vacations, etc. So where do we go? How do we figure out this funny thing called emotions? How do we navigate through them? I’m sorry to tell you that there is no one simple answer or solution. What I can tell you is that the solution is creating or recognizing your mind-body connection. And there are many ways to go about doing that. Medit