What they didn't tell you about depression

 

What depression looks like can be different for different people. Most people I talk with about it though have some similarities. When people think of depression, at least when I used to think of depression I thought of the most depressed, down, non-motivated person. A person that slept all day, ate too much and cried all the time. This can be at times the description of a depressed person. But what I didn't realize is that there are many phases and different degrees of depression. When I was diagnosed with depression it was obvious. I had been suicidal and felt hopeless. With medication and some therapy I felt a little better (I was no longer suicidal) My alcohol consumption, of course, was labeled the culprit of most if not all of my problems including my depression. Although I found this not completely to be true when I had put together 4 years of sobriety and decided to get off my depression medication. Of course, I did so on my own without my doc's consultation. Within 6 months I was drinking again. I had found myself (before I actually picked up the drink) feeling at times anxious, overwhelmed and other times blah and numb. Still other times I felt pain everywhere. I was struggling in my marriage and was seeing a therapist but I did not find the relief I was looking for until I picked up the bottle once again. The relief was short-lived and my life became extremely unmanageable and once again I found myself hopeless. 

Not everyone who suffered from depression has alcoholism or addiction but it is very common. I believe people with mood disorders become addicted because they try to self-medicate. At least that was the case with me. I do not want this blog to be about addiction necessarily. I just want to lay the ground for what I feel is a highly misunderstood disorder. That is depression.

I have been sober for a few years now and I have learned more about my depression disorder and how to deal with it. First of all, I do take medication. For me, the meds just keep me out of the deep dark abyss and I don't get suicidal. But it is not a cure-all. I still deal with aches, moods, numbness, deep sadness that I really can't explain in words. It can come in waves or all at once. Sometimes it lasts a couple of days, other times weeks. I use to beat myself up for feeling this way. I used to ask myself "why can't you just be happy?" But at the end of the day, I feel the way I feel and I've learned to be more compassionate with myself. Here are some ways that I deal with my depression. They don't all work all the time so I need to keep at it until I find one that does. So you may find the same. These are not medical or doctor-approved per se. They are from my own personal experience and have helped me over the years. I write this in hopes that my experience can help you too.

First some don'ts

Don't put yourself down, call yourself lazy or any other insulting name. Browbeating will not motivate you to do or feel better. 

Don't say the words "should or shouldn't" in reference to how you feel.  Guilt and shame also do not work in making us feel or do better. It actually has the opposite effect. Believe me when I say if you could do better you would.

Don't make any major life decisions. When we are feeling intense emotions the part of the brain that problem solves is put on pause. So you are not able to make healthy decisions. Delay any decision-making for the time being. 

Now the Do's

OF course, I am going to suggest the basics. Sometimes if I can nip my depression in the bud, at the first sign of a depressed mood they work, but of course sometimes it hits me like a steam roller and they don't have a chance. But always, non-judgementally make an attempt at these:

Go for a walk outside, call a supportive friend, take a hot bath or shower, jam out to a fav song- yes sing out loud. Write in a journal, a letter, or simply a gratitude list. Prayer and meditation help some people.

 Now if none of these work or you've gone too deep the most important thing you can do is be kind to yourself. Take a nap, resting is so important because most of us will deny ourselves rest for some masochistic reason. Sometimes a whole day in bed is in order but you want to be careful you probably should not indulge in more than a day. Have a friend or family member come to check up on you the following day. Indulge in a favorite food especially sweets. Again you don't want this to go on more than a day, so only buy a day's worth of junk food. And lastly and this is not in any particular order, in fact, this last one can absolutely be first. That is a cry. Have at it even if you have no idea why you are crying. Sometimes for me having a good full-blown cry is the best treatment. Chemically it releases oxytocin and endogenous opioids, also known as endorphins. These feel-good chemicals can ease your emotional as well as physical pain. If you find yourself crying for an extended period of time (I'm going to say more than a day but you know yourself best) you might want to seek out help. Whether that be a friend or a therapist. 

I think the most important thing to remember is it will pass. It may pass like a kidney stone but it will pass. You are strong and can withstand. If you find any or all of this helpful please send me a message. I truly want to make a difference and help people especially with issues as near to my heart as depression. If nobody told you today, I'm glad you're here 😊

Like my posts? Please follow me on Facebook or Instagram under Recovery Enthusiast. I also have a podcast on Anchor and Spotify under Motivations 4U. I'm also on YouTube; you can follow my journey. And if you really can't get enough of me, you can check out my courses on recoveryenthusiast.com

 

As always, stay blessed and live your life Enthusiastically!!