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Where are you going?!

What is it about hitting a milestone in your life that makes you freak out? 
    I remember turning thirty and thinking I'm a stay at home mom, I need to have this perfect home, be the perfect wife and all will be well. Ok miss Cleaver how did that work out for ya? By the time I hit forty I was full blown alcoholic in rehab and not home and kids not speaking to me. I've done a lot of stupid stuff that led me to that point. Stuff I can't change. 
    And so now here I sit 48 going on 49 and feeling like Whoa, where has my life gone?! Now I did clean up my act. I now work as a case manager for an addiction treatment facility and my kids do speak to me. I actually have a grandson that has stolen my heart. I am blessed. I live with my sister and her husband, which isn't the worst thing in the world but I want more. I'm also in school trying to better my life. But like I said I want more. Every time I think about wanting more my heart races and my throat goes dry. I really like what I do and would love to do it in a bigger and broader way. I'm not sure how to get there and I have this thing that stops me in my tracks and it's called fear. I don't like that I have this fear because fear is weak, right? I mean successful people aren't afraid right? Wrong!! I have learned that successful people do get fearful but they have learned if they walk through there fears if they do it anyway and get on the other side that is were their dreams are. I want to be like that. I also want to share that experience with people so that we can all do that. I want my kids to know that I am very afraid but I am doing it anyway! And I hope they do it too. 

                                                                    So let's do this!! Are you ready?

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Location: Massachusetts, USA

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