Motivations 4U

 No matter how hard we may try, there’s just no way to avoid some difficult conversations. However, there are positive things you can say and do to help you handle them better.   Your first response may be to change the subject when faced with a difficult discussion. This won’t solve the problem or heal the hurt that caused the situation in the first place. It’s better to take a deep breath, gather your thoughts, and face the difficulty now rather than later.   Remember it’s not your job to fix the situation unless you were directly involved. People sometimes just need a friend to listen to when they’re going through tough circumstances. They really don’t want you to fix things for them.   Being available to listen is sometimes the best way to show your friend that you care.   If the situation requires you to talk with someone going through difficulties, try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. What would you want a friend to say to you if you were in that situ

    DBT's TIPP skills Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) uses acronyms for almost every skill. TIPP stands for T emperature, I ntense exercise, P aced breathing and P rogressive relaxation. The theory or the reasoning behind it is when we are feeling intense emotions - whether that be stress, anxiety, fear, overwhelmed, etc., our body goes into fight or flight mode. This is an innate reaction (innate meaning that we have no control over). It happens automatically. It's a survival skill to protect us from danger. So if there's a  woolly mammoth chasing us and we need to either fight or flee, our bodies react very quickly. We automatically respond to this danger by increasing heart rate, breathing more shallow, and digestion actually stops, and so does the part of the brain that problem solves. So the critical part of the brain that, you know, makes decisions based on facts, and all that stuff is put on pause. W e don't need it when we're responding automatica

  My life is so much more relaxed and pleasurable when I let go of the need to do everything myself. In addition, I actually enjoy more success when I let others handle some of the tasks and responsibilities!   At work, delegating projects and tasks is a skill I continue to practice. I also practice asking for help. I had a limiting belief for the longest time, as many of us do, that asking for help is a weakness. I need to crush that belief! Asking for help is actually a strength. It enables others to feel needed and allows me to focus on projects that I do well at.   Also when I delegate, I refrain from trying to control everything. I am confident that the team around me can do an exceptional job, even if their methods are different from mine.   Fostering a team spirit lets everyone be part of the success. The better I perfect my delegating skills, the less everyone feels the need to turn to me for everything.   At home, delegating chores teaches my children respon

  The average person avoids challenges like she’s avoiding the plague. Struggling isn’t enjoyable, so it’s natural to avoid it as much as possible. There’s an issue with this strategy: There’s a lot to be gained from struggling .   There are many aspects to humans that are anti-fragile, meaning that stress makes them stronger.   For example:   ●       Exercise is a stressor that delivers positive benefits. ●       Being hot or cold, within reason, is good for your health. ●       Fasting is beneficial. Struggling is similar in that it makes you better than you were before the struggle.   Have you ever noticed that?   You learn a lot about yourself when you struggle . You don’t learn a lot about yourself while you’re watching a movie for the fifth time from your couch. When life is easy, you have a natural tendency to coast. Any struggle is a test of your will, ingenuity, and perseverance. You can learn how to use failure . Struggles often end in “failur

    I was misinformed by the misinformed. Like many of us, I grew up with family and friends information that they had passed down to me that was not correct. They didn't do it because they were mean or insensitive. They did it because they were loving and caring and wanted the best for me. But the fact of the matter is that its incorrect information. So much of the self-talk that I've had for years went like this; if I say I'm pretty or intelligent, I'm conceited. If I beat myself up for my mistakes or, just in general, get on my butt, I will be more motivated to do things. If I beat myself up for being lazy or beat myself up for procrastinating or for the mistakes that I made, if I didn't do it right the first time or the 100th time, beating myself up would motivate me to do better. And I don't know about you, but that hasn't worked for me too well.  I know the clients that I work with it hasn't worked for them either.  One of the reasons they soug

 One of the most difficult things for many people but particularly addicts and alcoholics is communication. And spend my experience personally and working with others that addicts tend to lack interpersonal skills. Whether we are innately shy or have not developed those communications due to our isolation. When we get clean and sober, we must communicate to other people how we're feeling, which could be one of the most challenging things to do. For a lot of us, we drank and drugged those feelings away. Sometimes we don't even know what those feelings are; it's hard for us to identify them, never mind communicate them to someone. Also, a lot of times, we lack the confidence to express ourselves to other people. Through my courses,  groups, and one-on-one, I teach that, like anything else, it takes practice. People may think that it is bizarre that a grown person would need to practice communicating, but if you are someone who hasn't done a lot of it or a lot of healthy

Making the most of life means different things to different people. To determine what it means to you, you may want to do some soul-searching. Once you discover what you really desire, you can move toward it and find meaning in the process.   Helping others is an effective way to receive more fulfillment from your life. You can volunteer your time and talents or donate money or items to a worthy or charitable cause. In doing so, you may find a sense of peace and joy that you didn't have before. Of course, when times are tight, you may find it difficult to give financially. However, there are always ways to help.   Give of Yourself   When you give yourself to get more joy from your life, keep in mind that giving takes many forms. Consider all that you have to offer. Sometimes just listening to someone's troubles or lending a hand to help can make a huge difference. By helping others to lead fulfilling lives, you will enrich your own.   To get the most from your