Motivations 4U

    I was misinformed by the misinformed. Like many of us, I grew up with family and friends information that they had passed down to me that was not correct. They didn't do it because they were mean or insensitive. They did it because they were loving and caring and wanted the best for me. But the fact of the matter is that its incorrect information. So much of the self-talk that I've had for years went like this; if I say I'm pretty or intelligent, I'm conceited. If I beat myself up for my mistakes or, just in general, get on my butt, I will be more motivated to do things. If I beat myself up for being lazy or beat myself up for procrastinating or for the mistakes that I made, if I didn't do it right the first time or the 100th time, beating myself up would motivate me to do better. And I don't know about you, but that hasn't worked for me too well.  I know the clients that I work with it hasn't worked for them either.  One of the reasons they soug

 One of the most difficult things for many people but particularly addicts and alcoholics is communication. And spend my experience personally and working with others that addicts tend to lack interpersonal skills. Whether we are innately shy or have not developed those communications due to our isolation. When we get clean and sober, we must communicate to other people how we're feeling, which could be one of the most challenging things to do. For a lot of us, we drank and drugged those feelings away. Sometimes we don't even know what those feelings are; it's hard for us to identify them, never mind communicate them to someone. Also, a lot of times, we lack the confidence to express ourselves to other people. Through my courses,  groups, and one-on-one, I teach that, like anything else, it takes practice. People may think that it is bizarre that a grown person would need to practice communicating, but if you are someone who hasn't done a lot of it or a lot of healthy

Making the most of life means different things to different people. To determine what it means to you, you may want to do some soul-searching. Once you discover what you really desire, you can move toward it and find meaning in the process.   Helping others is an effective way to receive more fulfillment from your life. You can volunteer your time and talents or donate money or items to a worthy or charitable cause. In doing so, you may find a sense of peace and joy that you didn't have before. Of course, when times are tight, you may find it difficult to give financially. However, there are always ways to help.   Give of Yourself   When you give yourself to get more joy from your life, keep in mind that giving takes many forms. Consider all that you have to offer. Sometimes just listening to someone's troubles or lending a hand to help can make a huge difference. By helping others to lead fulfilling lives, you will enrich your own.   To get the most from your

  Forgiveness Definition of forgiveness: interpersonal forgiveness is a willingness to abandon one's right to resentment, negative judgment, and indifferent behavior toward one who unjustly injured us while fostering the undeserved qualities of compassion, generosity, and even love toward him or her.   Other people will inevitably get you upset, disappoint you, and at times hurt or offend you.  However, the fact is, if you are always looking for reasons to be offended or hurt, you will find them. Instead, try to look for the good in others the same way that you would want them to focus on the good and you. Forgiveness , ultimately, is for you, not for them. I've had people say to me I will not give them the satisfaction of forgiving them; I will not let them off the hook that easily. But that is the meaning of the saying drinking poison and expecting my enemies to die .  Forgiveness is freedom for you. Of course, this is easier said than done. It is tough to apologize

Are you always wishing you had more time available to you? The truth is, you probably have plenty of time. You’re just not focused, and you’re not using your time wisely.   Everyone receives 24 hours each day. There’s a reason why some people are accomplishing much more than you are and are still able to be on time for all of their commitments.   These reasons could be why you never have enough time:   You fail to prioritize. What’s the most important activity you must do in order for you to accomplish your objective? If you’re not asking yourself this question regularly, you’re not getting the most bang for your time and effort. It’s easy to stay very busy but fail to accomplish much. ●       Ask yourself, “What is the most important thing I need to accomplish?” ●       Then ask yourself, “What is the best way for me to accomplish that?” You waste time. This could be due to procrastination. It could be due to inefficient work habits. ●       Make the choic

 How much of your time do you spend thinking each day during your waking hours? Most likely, at least 99% of the time. But how much of that thinking is productive?   There are two basic types of thinking: productive and unproductive. Productive thinking helps motivate us, reach our goals, and create the life we desire. On the other hand, much of the unproductive thinking we do is actually harmful to our happiness, contentment, and success.   What types of thoughts do you find yourself spending the most time on?   Consider how unproductive these types of thinking are:   ·        Thinking about the past in a way that creates regret. This is a common type of negative thinking that has no positive benefits. Remembering that time you embarrassed yourself in high school or had a huge argument with your partner only serves to lower your mood and put you into an unresourceful state. o    The solution is simple. Catch yourself as soon as possible when you’re thinking about th

  What depression looks like can be different for different people. Most people I talk with about it though have some similarities. When people think of depression, at least when I used to think of depression I thought of the most depressed, down, non-motivated person. A person that slept all day, ate too much and cried all the time. This can be at times the description of a depressed person. But what I didn't realize is that there are many phases and different degrees of depression. When I was diagnosed with depression it was obvious. I had been suicidal and felt hopeless. With medication and some therapy I felt a little better (I was no longer suicidal) My alcohol consumption, of course, was labeled the culprit of most if not all of my problems including my depression. Although I found this not completely to be true when I had put together 4 years of sobriety and decided to get off my depression medication. Of course, I did so on my own without my doc's consultation. Within 6