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What they didn't tell you about depression

  What depression looks like can be different for different people. Most people I talk with about it though have some similarities. When people think of depression, at least when I used to think of depression I thought of the most depressed, down, non-motivated person. A person that slept all day, ate too much and cried all the time. This can be at times the description of a depressed person. But what I didn't realize is that there are many phases and different degrees of depression. When I was diagnosed with depression it was obvious. I had been suicidal and felt hopeless. With medication and some therapy I felt a little better (I was no longer suicidal) My alcohol consumption, of course, was labeled the culprit of most if not all of my problems including my depression. Although I found this not completely to be true when I had put together 4 years of sobriety and decided to get off my depression medication. Of course, I did so on my own without my doc's consultation. Within 6

Setting Healthy Boundaries for Lasting Love

  Have you ever felt angry or hurt because of something your partner said or did?   Setting healthy boundaries can help you protect your emotional energy and deepen the connection within your relationship.   Boundaries are the guidelines we set about our expectations, availability, and energy. Because boundaries communicate how we feel, they prevent us from overcommitting or feeling resentful. They also help give others guidelines on how to treat you.   They do not have to be hard, aggressive rules. Setting boundaries allows us to be transparent with our partner about how we feel so that we can have a deeper, longer, lasting relationship.   The word boundary might be interpreted as pushing someone away. It is better described as an invitation to let your partner in to learn more about you and your needs.   Setting boundaries with your partner can improve the strength of your relationship. Not only are you inviting your partner to learn more about you, but you are al

What to Do When You're Feeling Lonely

During the pandemic, loneliness has spread almost as fast as the virus. Along with that, if you are like me and single, it can be even more depressing. The world may be starting to open up, but they will never be the same. But that ok. We don't have to reminiscence about the "old days."   If you are overwhelmed because you don't know how to navigate finding a partner post covid, I have some suggestions for you. Also, knowing that being single, even if you 49 like me, does not mean you are broken or something wrong with you. You also don't need to go searching for a partner just because you are lonely. I have suggestions for that too.   While recent events have created new challenges, loneliness has long been a part of daily life. It's natural to need a community and a sense of belonging. However, these feelings are manageable.   Learn how to deal with loneliness when you're alone or in a crowd. Then, try these 14 simple things that will help you t

Emotional Healing for the Hurting Heart

  Isn't it true that your emotions really take a knock when your heart is aching? Sometimes it feels like the day of healing is a million miles away. The difficult time you encountered in the past can take a while to be purged from your system.   It's definitely healthy to experience a range of emotions. However, it's unwise to have the negative ones consume your existence. You're better off working towards healing the hurt. That way, you can start to experience joy and happiness again.   Emotional healing is possible if you work at repairing the source of the hurt. But, as you'll see, that may mean making some tough decisions:   1.      Remove negative influences from your life. If you're honest with yourself, you'll realize something important. Some of the negative influences may very well be the people closest to you! It's going to be a challenge separating from them. But your emotional health is more important than maintaining those relatio

Who Else Wants to Try a Social Media Detox?

Social media is great for staying in touch with family and friends and finding deals from your favorite brands. However, there can be a downside.   Internet searches for social media detox rose 314% this past year. That's according to a Pinterest study of trends for the year 2020.   Maybe you're one of many adults trying to change your relationship with Facebook and other online platforms. Start with these suggestions that will help you to clarify your priorities and reclaim your time.   How to Spend Less Time on Social Media:   Book your time. The hours can fly by when you're browsing and posting. Keep track of your activities, so you'll see where you need to cut down. Limit yourself to one or two daily time slots for social media. Set a curfew. Searching your Facebook feed before bed can disrupt your sleep due to mental stimulation and the light from the screen. Turn off all your devices a couple of hours before retiring.

Is Honesty Always the Best Policy?

Your mom certainly advised you to always tell the truth. Though honesty is often the best path, there are times when a little dishonesty makes sense.   In an ideal world, you’d only speak when your words are honest, kind, and helpful. Unfortunately, there are many times the truth isn’t kind. Do you really want to tell your wife that she looks fat in her dress? Would it be appropriate to tell someone that you don’t think he could ever complete a marathon after hearing of his plans?   What if telling the truth is painful but helpful? It isn’t always cut and dry that being honest is the best policy.   Consider your options before speaking:   1.      Ask yourself how you will feel afterward. Will you feel better or worse? Look ahead and determine if you’ll regret your honesty or lack of honesty. We’ve all said things without thinking that we later regret. Consider the long-term, too. 2.      Consider how the other person will feel. When you’re done speaking, will the othe

I didn't think my recovery would look like this!

 No lists today! I want to be frank with you. I didn't think my recovery would look like this... Early in recovery from drugs and alcohol, I was up and down, probably more down than up. I struggled with dealing with people, situations, events, work, play, relationships, pretty much every aspect of my life. I went to a lot of meetings and met a lot of great people. I started doing the steps (12 steps of AA), and I started to feel and be better. I started to have more challenging experiences as I progressed through my recovery, and my journey has been a rocky one at best. But I wouldn't trade it for anything because the life I have today is truly amazing.  Yes, there is a but coming. I was single for 5 years. Purposely so. I needed to get to know myself, love myself and be by myself. It was wonderful and sad and lonely and empowering all at once. I decided it was time to enter the dating scene again as a sober, strong, independent woman. I had learned about boundaries and communi